bad-ass kid

true story! a 7 year old in Florida got pissed at his mom, so he stole his grandma's SUV with his equally bad-ass 7 year old friend who "smokes the cigarettes" and they went joyriding! the BEST part is when the news reporter asks him "why did you do it?" to which he replied, "i just wanted to do hood-rat stuff with my friends." sooo good. and his idea of a punishment to match his crime? "i dunno, like no videogames for a week or something." this kids going places.

are you one of these 5?

fashion standard-setter & industry insider magazine Womens Wear Daily has recently released in their newest issue, in which they identify and bemoan the existence of 5 different types of "extreme shoppers." i had to check myself before i wrecked myself, and, thankfully, i don't fit into any of the five aforementioned categories. who knows? maybe they'll have to invent a sixth category for my special brand of "manic im amex-ing my emotions away" shopping.


Miss Lonely Hearts: "Well-practiced at pouring her heart out to a salesperson on a regular basis." In brief, these ladies are really rich... Off of their husband's money. They don't work. Spending aforementioned husband's money is their main occupation. Also, these women are getting increasingly younger and younger. This "type" also includes, however, the mid-divorce-wife who is trying to drive up her spending habits to get more in the settlement. Consider these your executive nut jobs, to paraphrase Eddie Izzard. No fucking around with these ladies.

The Addict: "Shops nonstop, and isn't exactly sure why."If a customer makes her first phone call from the plastic surgeon's recovery room to her favorite sales clerk, asking him to send over the latest looks for her new body (true story!), she's an addict.

The Psycho Shopper: "Prone to tantrums and just plain bizarre behavior. One such shopper had a Bergdorf Goodman staffer snap naked photos of her in the dressing room."Known for exhibiting "register rage," turning a dressing room into her satellite office, and saying things like, "My husband is jealous of these boots because they are better looking than he is. He hasn't spoken to me in a week because he thinks I am paying more attention to my boots than to him."

The Performer-Exhibitionist:"Inclined to parade around the store in her underwear, flirt with salespeople or show off her latest dance move or bauble."Based on WWD's reporting, these women are really into yoga. They might start performing poses at the register. Or, they might begin their practice in the middle of the sales floor wearing "only a thong." Says one poor salesman, "I can't tell you how many naked women I have seen. It's a safe perversion for them. They know I'm gay but they love the idea of a man looking at them naked. They have me lift a boob, adjust a bra or snap a bodysuit. Ick."

Little Ms. Indecisive: "Tries on clothes as a form of exercise, is a big fan of putting merchandise on hold for days before actually buying and often is a chronic returner."Apparently, these customers are "in mourning." Because they're probably already deeply in debt. Fun!

uncanny resemblance...

seen on the streets of tehran

this one is mah flavorite.

amazin' amazin' amazin' street art community there...here are some of the sweetest cuts from an artist who goes by AOne or something similar. it just tickles my buttons. i like looking at it, and, so i therefore decided that you would like looking at it too. besides, a little art before bed never hurt anyone, right? right.

this made me blush...

i mean, i know that i ain't no prude, but the french never, ever cease to amaze me and make me a little uncomfortable at the same time...who knew that fruit could be so damn erotic? not i.

more of deh sexy

damn all these beautiful girlsss....

SENIOR BALL SENIOR BALL AHHHHHHH!!!

so in love, its not even funny...

feelin' punchy tonight...so i thought, why not?

partyzeit recovery

you know, i never really liked sundays. even if you aren't hungover, they always remind you that monday is right around the corner. if you're hungover, well then, i wish you luck. today was a day devoted to the art of recuperating. but if i had to do it again...would i? hell yes. the weekend was spent in top form with the ex-wife, where we picked up as if we had never stopped. jobz, drinkz, and, in top form, lots of supermodel documentary hour (read: us taking memory cards full of ridiculous pictures.)

today marks the long-awaited return of miss eliza van rootselaar (mah ex-wife) to Camp Lovelyoke. after an imposed exile of two years, Miss Thang has decided to grace us with her presence to make merry with me at the Senior Ball. you know what they say...you never really forget your first love. i'm sure i'll have more things to say about this later.

fundamentalist fashion and lindsay lohan's facebook page...the week in review

here are a few things that have been highly interesting to me this week.

1. fundamentalist fashion- obviously, the completely covered, fairly shapeless, pastel frocks worn by the women of the FLDS sect are making a HUGE splash in deh world of le fashion, eh? if it wasn't odd enough that they are all "plural wives," lets make ourselves stand out a little bit more, no? anyways, the dresses and the equally elaborate hairstyles that accompany them are a total throwback to the days of "Little House on the Prarie,"...only Laura Ingalls Wilder wasn't married off to a fifty-something man at age fourteen.
figure it out for yourself here:http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/24245576/?GT1=43001

2. lindsay lohan's facebook page- from the chosen people to the whore of babylon...but fo' serious...HOW DID I MISS THIS? she is apparently using the last name of her "friend," (read: girlfriend) DJ Samantha Ronson, and as always, it is so refreshing to know that...hey, celebrities, they're just like us! apparently, before the page was taken down, LiLo's status was a rebuttal to all those goddamn paparazzi and celebrity news mongers that the recent pictures of her "intoxicated" where actually due to the fact that it was "4:30 in the morning." yeah, it was 4:30 in the morning and you had been on a vodka-redbull partysafari since 11:30 that evening. i would be exhausted too.

3. alina shvartz- aside from having a super unfortunate last name and having been pictured in an equally unfortunate pair of leopard-print culouttes, yalie and "art" major alina shvartz has turned her fifteen minutes into an intense game of "its true!/no it isnt!". the latest, yale is refusing to acknowledge her senior "art" project and is urging shvartz to make a statement to the media that her cycle of self-insemination and then self-induced abortions was actually a hoax. i don't really care if its true or not, i just think its gross.

4. the "21" club- 11th grade girls in a high school in australia are the newest victims of the "heathers/mean girls" sickness. apparently, the girls formed the "21" club, and wore their rankings on their wrists. the skinnier, prettier, and more popular with the boys the girl was, the higher her ranking. charming, really. like grading beef.

LOLVogue...

i have a 5 page paper due tomorrow, in spanish, no less...sooooo of course i decided that it would be a sweet time to update deh blogspot. here are some LOLmodels, pretty self-explanatory. shots from various Vogue magazines...france, italy, etc., made complete with LOLCat captions. so perfect. speaking of LOLCat, did you know that they are publishing a version of THE BIBLE in LOLCat speak? that's a little too much, but these hurr are way way too funny. i especially like the smoking one, from french Vogue, no less, because, when i speak french, or try to, i have the sneaking the suspicion that i might sound a little like that.

springy art

confetti... this ain't yo' momma's color-by-numbahhhs...
makes me think of jasper johns...

here's a shot of color on your monitor to go with all the spring color outside

mondaze...

i know how you feel, mang, i know how you feel.

NEWSFLASH

JENNA JAMESON IS GOOD AT SWALLOWING...oysters, that is.

4.20 recap.

uh-oh...(by the same guy who does the hummingbirds)

it sayz..."a man gripped his camera close and made mock sexy faces. 'i look so hi-def' he said as he stroked his face."

i hope all y'all had deh dankest of 4.20's. mine was mediocre, fo' shizzle. i feel like waiting until i graduate to go really bonkers, honestly. at this point, why not? on that note, ONLY 2 more weeks of classes! whoa whoa whoa. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR...but i am so so SO ready. i don't know what it is exactly that i want after i graduate, but i know that i don't want this anymore...something, ANYTHING different.

HAPPY HOLIDAZE!

its toooooo good a day to be inside. get out thurr and spark sum shits, ya hear?

also, factoid...today is mah half-birthdizzle, which i also share with our man snoop. WORD.

bangkok prophets

this was spotted on the streets of bangkok to protest the running through of the olympic torch. thought-provoking, no?

mucha arte deco!

moet & jobz...this man was way ahead of his time. but no, seriously, his name is alphonse mucha and he was a czech art-deco illustrator in the late nine-teens, early twenties. i love how ornate and delicate his work is.

he ain't hood...

oh man. it has recently surfaced that Akon has actually fabricated his "locked-down" past. read the article here http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0416081akon1.html. apparently, it was a marketing scheme that "spun out of control." i'm sure that Akon himself " 'fessin' up" to his sordid past didn't help either. i wonder what's next now that the "Konvicted" angle has been played out. i mean, what comes after LYING about being in prison? i'm pretty sure you can't get much uncooler than that.

i need one of these...

a beautiful, unseasonably warm day here at Camp Lovelyoke. everyone on their little blanket islands on the Green, soaking up deh rayz. how perfect/superuseful would this be on a day like today, no?

how neat is this?

i want one of these for the apartment that i don't yet have...but thinking ahead never hurt anyone. its like a wall-sized chia pet! i don't know about the maitenance of it or anything like that, nor do i care, i'm just struck by the novelty and ultimate faboulousness of this.

Fafinettes...

lovin' on Mademoiselle Fafi...le "bad-girl" of French graffitti

keep oldskool alive

from Russia with love

hello comrade...

snorting caviar. talk about decadence

also...here's Moscow Doesn't Believe in Tears...an aaaamazing blog along the lines of Last Night's Party, Nicky Digital, etc. only its russian, and, in my book, that makes it automatically superior

http://moscowdoesntbelieveintears.blogspot.com/